


Fantasia

by Gabrielle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:51:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2656034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabrielle/pseuds/Gabrielle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She comes to Spike to feel, but the truth is that the only feelings she's ever had are for a very different vampire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fantasia

Sometimes when she’s with Spike, when he’s fucking her hard and rough, fucking her back into some kind of feeling, Buffy wonders… and when she closes her eyes, she’s in a different bed and her body is a question:

 

What would it have been like if Angel had made love to the Slayer and not the girl? If he hadn’t seen her as an innocent, virginal young woman but instead seen her as the warrior – the more-than-equal –she became the day she was chosen?

 

Would he still have lost himself in his illusion of humanity – the illusion that cost him his soul?

 

What if he hadn’t? What if in giving her his demon he’d somehow held onto his soul? Would he still be here – with her? Would it be him inside her now?

 

This time she opens her eyes and the face above hers isn’t sharp-boned and blond-headed. No, it’s dark-eyed and strong and the hair is brown and soft to the touch. The body pounding hers into the mattress is big and imposing instead of slim-hipped and narrow and she loses herself in the what-might-have-been of the waking dream she’s conjured.

 

For the first time – only time – she’s glad to be back, to be here. It’s Heaven, only better, and she’s climbing higher than she ever has, her body singing with the joy of finally giving all of herself, every part of Buffy-girl-Slayer-woman-dead-resurrected to the only man who’s ever held her heart.

 

She screams his name in pleasure as she explodes.

 

“Angel!”

 

When it’s over, it’s cold and she’s fleeing someone else’s tears and rage.

 

Tonight, she had something wonderful and lost it.

 

Tonight, in the ashes of the aftermath, it’s only Spike who feels.

 

It’s cold, Buffy’s cold, and she doesn’t care about anyone or anything.

 

Not anymore.

 

 

 

 

 The End.


End file.
